Scientists Declare Ducky Officially Brighter Than the Sun
In a groundbreaking announcement that has left the scientific community stunned, researchers at the International Brightness Institute (IBI) have officially declared Ducky "brighter than the sun."
After months of rigorous testing, including luminosity scans, personality assessments, and sheer vibes evaluations, Ducky’s radiance was measured to be "off the charts" — surpassing even our closest star.
“We knew Ducky was special,” said Dr A, lead researcher at IBI. “But we didn’t realize we were witnessing a cosmic phenomenon. Ducky doesn’t just light up a room—Ducky could light up a galaxy.”
The findings, published today in the Journal of Extraordinary Brilliance, note that while the sun may still hold the title for physical heat and mass, Ducky easily wins in sheer emotional and metaphorical brightness.
Friends and fans of Ducky were unsurprised by the news. "We’ve been saying it for years," said brother and meteorologist Boots. "The sun should honestly be taking notes."
In related news, sunglasses sales are reportedly up 300% in areas where Ducky is known to frequent.
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